Monday, November 19, 2007

Modesty and Christian Women

spicegirls.jpg

I write this article with great reservation! There is always a thin line between legalism and liberty and I am going to attempt to walk this fine line as biblically as possible. My purpose is not to condemn but to spur others on to good deeds. My hope is that those who read this will read the arguments and scriptures provided and take them before the Lord in prayer and humility. So with no further do, let’s get into it.



As you may well know, the church is influenced by the world. I don’t believe that this is because we have a group of Christians who search out worldly things to mimic. I think it can simply be attributed to the fact that we live in the world, thus, standing out can lead to many misconceptions. Take the Amish for example. Good people, and from what I know are Godly people for the most part. Their distinctive, however, is one of not wanting to be polluted by the world, so they have a lifestyle that reflects such a distinctive. The end result is isolation and different of culture. It would not be hard to identify someone of Amish influence in a downtown Wal-Mart.



As Christians we have the dichotomy of being in the world (John 17:15-18) and not of the world. We are to live amongst the lost in order to be God’s ambassadors (2 Corinthians 5:20) while not being of the world and its passions (1 John 2:15-17). Most of us will spend maybe 3-4 hours per week with believers and the other 100 plus waking hours with non-believers. Our great adversary understands this and as “roaring lion” seeks to attack us at our weakest moments. Because the majority of our time is spent with those who don’t know God and have no desire to please him, sometimes their worldview rubs off on us. Especially on matters that can tend to be gray such as: movies, music, leisure, and what I am going to address, clothing.



We live in a culture (America) that puts great emphasis on fashion. We spend a lot of time in malls, and department stores, and according to recent information we spend roughly $82 Billion Dollars on clothing a year. We are the most image conscious culture in the world today and as I stated earlier it is not unusual for the “called out ones” to be heavily influenced by the world they live in. We need clothes so that isn’t the problem and looking nice isn’t the problem either. No one want to look like a ragamuffin at work, or out on a nice date so dressing beautifully isn’t the problem. However, there is a problem that is rearing its ugly head, and this problem should not exist among us who called ourselves the elect of God.



During the past 10 years, clothing has begun to shrink as it relates to mass. Shorts are much shorter, skirts are much tighter and sorter, shirts have loss any visible signs of a neck not to mention they are much tighter and shorter, jeans are lower and tighter and dresses now look like either twin bed sheets or night gowns. Not to mention lingerie is now consider professional dress. Walking on a college campus or a mall in the summer can be very for a young man trying to keep his mind pure or desiring to look at a fellow woman as a human versus a filet mignon. The world has made this every difficult.



If you know anything about me, I have no problem with nonbelievers behaving like nonbelievers. I don’t have a problem with 50 Cent, T.I, Britney Spears and others. They are enemies of God and they only do what their father the devil tells them to do. They are under the complete control of the enemy and there is absolutely nothing they can do to help themselves. If it were not for the Grace of God we would be in the same predicament as most prisoners and prostitutes. However, there is a slight difference (satire here). We have been called out (1 Peter 2:9 by God, to be His workmanship (Eph 2:10) for good works. We belong to Christ and are ones who have crucified our flesh and its passions (Gal 5:24). We are to be as aliens on foreign land, and the world is not to have the same influence over us, as it does those who don’t know God (Eph 2:3).



So the problem I have is not with Beyonce, but with those who consider themselves as part of God’s kingdom. So as a Christian woman goes out into the world to interact with the loss, I believe she is to have a higher since of piety. As young and older women purposefully or inadvertently dress provocatively, the women called of God should stand firm with holiness and modesty being their watchword. However due to the relaxed dress codes in church, which I am the first to say is the best way to go, coupled with worldly influences our churches have become a LANDMINE OF LUST, and it is only a matter of time before one of the brothers lose a limb or his life!



So below are some things to consider as you embark on a journey towards modesty. Those who have a heart to hear from God would at least consider this article as being one of great concern. I pray that you would consider these proposals carefully and with your spiritual lenses on. So here we go……..


Does my dress cause others to look at me inappropriately?

If you often find yourself offended because someone is looking at your chest while you speak to them instead of your face, or if you are aware of men looking back at you while you pass, then your clothing may not be appropriate. An argument against that I have heard is “well these dudes will look at me this way if I were dressed any other way”. This is a lie from down below! If Jennifer Lopez would have worn the same outfit Mother Teresa wore no one would have been playing her Grammy clip over and over again. Nor would man be running through walls to see Toni Braxton accept her Grammy. Listen, these guys are looking at you for a reason. Unless you have been endowed with Dolly Pardon’s anatomy most men will not stare at your chest as if he was starving to death and he just dropped his chicken down your shirt! Typically what you have on is bringing inappropriate attention to your chest area. Maybe your shirt is to tight and your bra to thin. Or maybe your shirt is too low. Whatever the problem is, most men within the body of Christ don’t want to struggle with staring at your chest there is enough problems battling the enemy to put you on the list. Furthermore if you are getting a lot of stares at your backside maybe you want to find a different designer. Some women have been given bigger bottoms and how the jeans fit on one girl may cause you to be pursued like a surfer with a fresh cut in the ocean.


Are women tuning their nose up at you? Or do you sense some jealousy?

Now this is much easier to discern that a brother lusting after you. Women know women and you know when someone is looking at you like you just took their husband, job, and kids! Men aren’t the only one who struggle, jealousy is brewed due to this also, if not jealousy at leas envy. I hear all the time from women “she knows better than to wear that”. I have seen women blush as some things other women have on. This shouldn’t be in the body of Christ. If you find yourself with no friends or if another sister has approached you to talk about your clothes, then you may have problem. Once again you have never saw anyone raise concerns about the way Condoleezza Rice dress have you. She has not raised an ounce of concern or envy with other women.


Do you think you are sexy or are you attempting to draw attention to yourself?

We have a new fad among professing Christians today, the fad of being sexy. Now how a Christian can want to be labeled sexy from anyone other than their spouse is cause for great concern. You see God left us something with his word and I will provide a couple of verses to help you out:



1 Timothy 2:9-10

9 likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.



I don’t need to explain this one to anyone I hope. I believe the writing is clear. So let us try another few verses



1 Peter 3:1-6

3:1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.


Peter takes this a step further. He is dealing with the submissive heart of a wife; however, this should be the standard for all women, as most women will become or has a desire to be wives at some point. Peter says this type of woman is precious in “God’s sight” now I pray that every Christian’s desire is to be precious in the sight of the Master who gave His Son up for us. What a privilege it is to honor Him with more than our lip service, but also with our bodies and minds as Paul states in Romans 12! The Godly woman is the woman who draws attention to herself for the cause of the Gospel, not to be considered sexy! I don’t know how this one infiltrated the church but it snuck in, because I am usually game to current church trends. I happened to see someone on Sunday’s Best (a knock off American Idol for black Christians) with a sexy belt buckle and I thought to myself, she has no clue what she has been called into (though she may not be a believer).


Final thoughts

Paul says this in Romans 14 “13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother” Listen you may believe that you have the liberty to wear what you please and “everybody else just best get over it”. But that is not the heart of one who has been purchased with the blood of the Lamb. Christ laid down his life to reconcile a heinous and rebellious group of God haters to His Father. How much more should we lay down our lives for one another. Read Philippians 2:1-4 and get the heart of Paul as he writes to that church about inner strife. Listen, if you love your brothers you would do what it takes to serve them and one way to serve them is to but your liberty on the backburner to see him grown in Godliness. This is what is meant by “don’t merely look out for your own interest” yeah what you wear may be jazzy but your brothers spend the next three days in prayer trying not to think about the tattoo you have on your lower back to is visible for the world because of your low rise jeans. Or he is trying not to think about how endowed you are in your chest area because your shirt was a little to snug. We don’t have the same privilege the world has, we have a greater one. We have been set free to serve the Master of the Universe, let’s not subject ourselves again to a yoke of slavery. God bless.


Read this from Caroly Mahney a great resource for Christian Women

modesty.pdf

7 comments:

S.J. Walker said...

Well written Lionel,

I think you made across the chasm without falling on one or the other of the rope. This reminds of a post on amos3verse8 from awhile ago.

I studied for weeks to write a letter to a couple friends about marriage. While I didn't specifically address the issue contained herein, they--to me at least--seem to tie together beautifully. In studying marriage, I, of course, ended up studying more about the Church than "I do's".

It was an amazing study to be privileged to express to two dear friends first, and then to hopefully many others.

Be encouraged brother,
SW

Lionel Woods said...

Thanks Brother. I greatly appreciate your encouragement. This something that is plaguing our church! God bless.

Mr. Horton Sr. said...

Brother your writings are getting better and better! They are really in depth and are never completed until you apply the application for life. Good work. You need to plaster this on the churches of america like the 95 thesis. Good, thank you!!

Jim Pemberton said...

Amen, Brother Lionel! That's all I have to say; I can't add to this one iota.

Lionel Woods said...

Thanks for the encouragement from each of you. The struggle is always balance as it relates to gray areas. After going to a listening party on Thursday and church on Sunday, I just noticed the subtle influence of the world's standard of fashion was picking up steam in our congregation. I pray that others will see the struggle with this and attempt to balance it with love. God bless.

Anonymous said...

Lionel wrote:
If you often find yourself offended because someone is looking at your chest while you speak to them instead of your face, or if you are aware of men looking back at you while you pass, then your clothing may not be appropriate. An argument against that I have heard is “well these dudes will look at me this way if I were dressed any other way”. This is a lie from down below!

Here in my host country, nearly all Muslim women cover their hair and a vast majority wears a long, black robe that covers the entire body. (Few wear the full veil, but it’s not uncommon.) Yet, despite the conspicuous (to me) absence of skin, I’ve seen the Arab boys in the malls do a double-take or even stare lasciviously as the covered girls swish by. Some men are just going to lust and not even a full-body covering will stop it. So, when the sister says that “these dudes are going to look at me this way if I were dressed any other way”, she’s onto something. Some dudes are going to look at her with lust no matter how she dresses. She just has to mature enough to realize that their bad behavior is not an excuse for hers. She has to be responsible for her own actions and choose to dress for God and not for anyone else.

Personally, I realized that my sense of modesty had been affected by living here one day when I passed a local woman in the hallway at work and her robe wasn’t tied properly. When she saw me, she gestured with her hands and commented that she hadn’t seen me for a long time. When she did, the robe opened and revealed her clothes underneath. I can only tell you that she was wearing something made of denim because I instinctually and immediately averted my eyes. I felt like I had just seen her naked, even though I most certainly hadn’t. I had to laugh at myself.

Melissa said...

Excellent post, Bro! This type of teaching is needed from the pulpit and from the women's "ministries" (instead of 'teas' and 'retreats' all the time). It's not a game.

I thank God that my 10 yr. old daughter understands that she must be modest. She checks what she is wearing and she will put on an extra shirt/longer shirt/whatever to keep her body to herself! You know I praise God for that!!! She even checks me sometimes if i have on something too tight. She is my "accountability" in that.

I've seen immodest dress in the Church and it is a shame that more godly women will not take these girls aside and talk to them, get to know them, be examples for them and teach them. We are so concerned to not "offend" when it should be our desire to disciple. We have to trust the lord to bear witness in their hearts and that there will be a renewal of these young girls' minds.

I have difficulty finding clothing for myself and for my daughter that are modest. The world is not accepting of our style and fit of clothing. But after I finish school this semester, I'll have a break until next fall (graduate school, then) and I hope to learn to sew! I have ideas, but just haven't gotten them down.

Thanks again!
Melissa